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1.

It was June.

Noelle Efe Aidoo listened to the muffled vibrations of Auntie B from her room upstairs. Auntie B’s—her father’s sister—was talking to someone. Noelle combs out her afro and pulls it into a rabbit tail. The sound of brushing calms her. The routine slowly drowned out the sounds of her auntie talking. Auntie B had lived at the Aidoo home for years, amid the loss of their mother. Jacob Aidoo, her father, needed help with two girls. Auntie B’s children were all abroad. It felt like destiny. she stares at herself in her mirror: dark coffee eyes, chocolate brown complexion, and a crooked smile.

Noelle realises that Auntie B is speaking to Nathalie.  If you’d met her outside, you would believe Auntie B to be a delight. Noelle to be withdrawn. Auntie looks jolly and her voice—in its usual affect and volume—sounds as sweet as coconut candy made on the stove. Directed towards Noelle, it takes on the form of  booming, irritated, cutting words and rushed mannerisms. Destiny began to feel like tragedy when Auntie B decided Nathalie, her sister, was the better of the two. Noelle tried before then. She tried really hard to show how smart she was by engaging her aunt. That led her to be branded as disrespectful. When she chose to be quiet, she was regarded as stubborn.Auntie B’s cold war cemented itself with no one truly questioning it but trying to find ways to rebel in their own ways. This is how Noelle learns that blood runs colder than water. This is how Noelle realises that blood runs colder than water.

“You should be like Nathalie. She is popular and smart but you,” her Auntie often repeated, always pausing at You.“ I am not sure where your mother went wrong.”

   She knows Nathalie will message her soon to make jokes about auntie’s rant of the day. She and her sister had that sort of routine. She knows her sister means well, converting her Auntie’s intimacy into their own private jokes. But oftentimes, it feels like she doesn’t realise she is playing a game where Noelle is constantly losing. To Auntie B, Nathalie is the saint and Noelle is the devil incarnate.  Noelle makes a habit of relegating herself to invisibility before anyone else could do it to her. Save for her father, Nathalie and her best friend, Naa Dede, and her late mother, Noelle assumes most people think of her in the same way as her aunt. Her mum especially. She saw her. In a way no one else did: tenderness, creativity, someone worthy to be loved. Then, life took her away.

That’s how Noelle got sucked into the virtual world.  She needed a place where she could be herself. Her entry into this world was hi5, a social media network. Then, hi5 morphed into facebook. The site allowed her to look in on everyone’s lives. She slid by like a shadow, only liking what was necessary. She had never gone through the phase of posting song lyrics or sharing everything about herself online. She’d learned with her Auntie’s judgemental eyes that she needed to be discrete. So, discrete she became.

She tried to ignore her aunt’s talking as she scrolled through her phone:

            Amanda Hanson:

 Do you ever feel the same? Do you? I miss you.

            Jack Boateng:

            I am a soldier of Christ. His word give me life every day! Praise Him!

That’s when Noelle  met Her. She was someone who knew someone’s someone on social media. They had been tagged in a post and before she knew it, she slid into her dms. They met up at school multiple times until graduation moved them apart. But, they kept talking. Planning. Sharing. Noelle steadily grew addicted to the flash from her phone. And even know, as it flashes with questions about her departure, a special type of delight builds up in her chest.

Tomorrow was the beginning of her new life. She would no longer have to make herself invisible. A month ago, when she planned this move, she thought she would go out in a blaze of glory. She would tell her aunt about herself. She would yell and curse and let her aunt feel the pain within her.  But as time went on, she decided she would rather go quietly. She asked Naa if she could stay with her so she could have a night of true doting before she left. She’d show her aunt the new her. What she had planned would do that better than anything else.

She ‘likes’ the resonant posts on her feed and skips through the others.  Noelle responds to Her texts. After scrolling aimlessly, she stretches for a moment then heads downstairs.  She hobbles gently to reach the bottom floor with her suitcases. She turns the corner to study down the hall, leaving the suitcase as a reminder to say goodbye. She’d rather not give her fodder even if she was trying to change.

“Daddy,” she calls out into the study. Her father, Jacob Aidoo, sits behind the desk reading books that he had brought from the United States. The light in his study is the most dim in the house. The orange undertones create warmth in this otherwise tiny space. Mr. Aidoo looks up at the door, glasses on his head.

“Efe,” He says standing up. He loved to call her by her middle name. “Is it time for you to go?”

He walks over to her and stretches out his hand. His hands shake with the frailty of age. He clasps his rough hands over hers and pulls her into a hug.  Noelle nestles her head on his shoulders as he gently pats her on the back.

“Make sure to keep in touch and make sure to make smart decisions.” In his mind, his daughter is going off on an adventure, perhaps, a great academic pursuit. Only Noelle knows the truth. Her escapist fantasy of building a new life for herself. His soft aura exudes confidence and hope. Noelle basks in it hoping to capture the image of her father in her memory.

He smiles at her and hands her an envelope.

“Of course. It’s money. C’mon, how can I let you leave with nothing?” he smiles gently, “but please don’t tell your auntie.” A pause. She knows he says this for good measure but it is not hard to tell that Auntie B says nothing to Noelle. And Noelle speaks only minimally to her.

They both laugh softly as he brings her close one more time. His warmth soothing her nervousness. The scent of burnt cigarette smoke enters her nostrils.

“Auntie, I’m going.”

She tries to add an emphatic joy to her voice despite not feeling it.  Auntie B turns towards her enough to see Noelle wave goodbye. Noelle’s wave is met with furrowed eyebrows and gated words. Words–those sharpened knives–are sparse from her Auntie. Noelle pretends not to see it. A yellow bulb suspended over her aunt’s  head deepens her scrutinizing look. Disappointment hangs like poisonous gas between them. Thick, visible, inducing eye pain. She needs no words to hurt Noelle. Noelle sighs and takes her suitcases. After putting them in the trunk, she sits in the car and takes a deep breath. The gatekeeper opens the gate. This is the last time she would try to mend the rift between her and her auntie. Her triumphant last show as the old Noelle. She backs out of the house slowly.

Sakumono is a dark place at night with only the car's headlights as the most consistent source of light. The pitch black road slowly comes into focus. Her mind focuses on maneuvering, pedestrians crossing, motorcycles zooming through the spaces left open by cars would seem too chaotic to anyone else. Somehow a chaotic atmosphere allows her mind to seem calmer and erases  any lingering emotions. Her movements from muscle memory guide her through the deep honks and winding roads.The  radio on full blast makes her feel like a protagonist in a movie. This is how she copes. She pretends that the life she lives is fiction. She increases the volume to drown the spate of cars.

The bright lights blind her as she moves into the mall to find parking. A parking attendant in a neon cardigan points her in the direction of a spot. She pulls in slowly, taking sharp breaths to calm the anxiety that held her from her home to her destination.

Noelle Aidoo: Dede, I’m here

Naa Dede  Annan: No problem! I am waiting for you in front of Shop Rite.

 Naa is waiting for her in front of Shop Rite. After a few calming breaths, she leaves the car. She feels the humidity producing immediate sweat as she runs to her bestie. The stickiness clinging to both of them as Naa holds Noelle.  After walking around the mall and trying on random lipstick at MAC, they end up at Naa’s place. Noelle lays on the bed and stares at the ceiling, excited for the adventure that starts the next day.

***

Most people don’t know that Nathalie and Noelle are twins. Auntie B made sure to make it seem like they weren’t. She refers to Nathalie as the “oldest,”  even though in reality, Noelle is. Nathalie still cannot tell if this is an accident.

Nathalie Aidoo sits comfortably on another auntie’s couch in the US while Auntie B  in Ghana is on speaker. Amid long lists of complaints about Ghana’s water shortages, she interjects enthusiastically that her “daughter”—read as Nathalie—is going to what she called a good school— AND working towards a PhD! Nathalie lets the jubilation roll over her. It just is.

 She twirls her fingers in her braids while closing her eyes.  She rams her finger to the braid’s  end to remove a stray strand. She follows the lilt of her aunt’s voice as she speaks of home. Home.

“Auntie, please,” She interjects, remembering the day. “How is Efe?”

Her aunt pauses mid-sentence and a silence hangs between them. Auntie B kisses her teeth.  

“Noelle just left. I think her flight back to the U.S.  is today or something.”

Auntie B always made it a point to say “Noelle” instead of “Efe.” It seemed childish to Nathalie. The way her aunt antagonized her sister.

“Noelle is a mosquito incessantly whispering nonsense in my ear,” Aunty B used to say when they were younger.  Nathalie used to react with horror at this but her mother would tell her to mind her manners. “She is your mother when I am not around,” she had said quietly one day—a prophecy of what was to come. But at some point, Nathalie learned how to play the game. She excelled at it actually. You either fight gently or fight loudly. It is always better to fight gently. Not fighting is not an option. Not fighting back means you are going to be in your own personal hell.

She slides the phone from her ear and sends a message to her sister.

From her glowing screen, she sends a message.

Nathalie Aidoo: Efe, why did you leave abruptly? I thought your flight wasn’t for another day.

“She says she is going back to the U.S. We asked her why, she said she is taking some time.” Her aunt pauses to push out a disapproving ‘hmm’. “ Someone with a Bachelor’s degree and she is going to take time? Isn’t this the time she should be  looking for a well-paying job? One child is in a PhD program in the U.S.? Why can’t this one join too? What have I done to deserve this? Eh?”

Nathalie is careful not to give any hint of approval or disapproval—either choice is a betrayal to someone she loves. 

“By the way, how is Don-o-van?” Auntie B’s turns sugary sweet again.

“He’s fine, auntie. He is meeting Auntie Naana soon.”

“Do you think you will marry him? I mean, you said you are living with him,” Auntie B’s voice is a cautious vehicle waiting to make a reckless move. Donovan and Nathalie have been living together since their last year of Uni. It happened that she got into the PhD program where he is starting his financial gig. Okay, so it wasn’t completely an accident but you get it.  She could already tell that Auntie B is getting ready to give some anecdote about some person in her network that lived with her boyfriend which inevitably invited chaos in their lives. Nathalie  senses this and decides to tread lightly.

“Auntie, we are getting ready. We just want to save money and marry at our time.” She says, gently. You either fight gently or fight loudly. It is always better to fight gently. Not fighting back is not an option. If you don’t,  you are going to be in your own personal hell.

“Okay, I am glad that you know the destination is marriage.”

Nathalie could feel her Auntie’s wide smile through the phone. Now was the time for a smooth exit. She presses her sister's contact number but no one picks up. She calls again. Noelle holds back out of habit. Out of protection.  What is she keeping this time? Nathalie wants to know before the grand finale. It is anyone’s guess what she is up to. When she doesn’t pick up, she wait. Noelle always texts back.

                                    2.

 Nath, sorry,  I love you and once I am settled, I will tell  you all about it.

****

Noelle drags the suitcases across the balcony, reading the numbers as she goes. The carpet catches her bag as it bumps along the textured surface. She finally sees the number she is looking for and rings the doorbell. Noelle's  heart starts beating erratically, a part of her wants to run but she needs to see this through. She opens the door. Chocolate eyes meet chocolate eyes, trying to read each other’s emotions. Noelle turns to leave, deciding that all of this is a mistake. She reaches for her hand and ushers Noelle in. She steps out to bring her suitcases into the apartment. 

“You told me that when I make up my mind, you’ll be there…” Noelle's  words are cut off by lips. The softest kiss she has ever tasted.The arms bring her into another warm embrace. Noelle feels time stand still. The frustration and nervousness melt away. Noelle knew then she made the right choice.

3.

April, XXX4

Nathalie wakes up next to her boyfriend, Donovan. He somehow manages to kick himself into a knot with the sheets every night. She is used to this scene of Donovan. She makes coffee so they could both start their day.  Him, working remotely as management consultants and her, finishing up her research for her PhD.  As usual, she notices a message from her sister on her phone.

Noelle Aidoo: Nath, don’t be shocked when you check your social media. I know I should have texted first. Sorry.

She never checks social media. All she does is message people via messenger and whatsapp.  She almost did not want to check what she was actually tagged in. After all, it might be someone’s new baby or someone’s jubilee or even worse, someone’s wedding. She shudders. Ghanaians are into this sort of thing, she thinks to herself.

She has no desire for that sort of life.

The glowing red notification with numbers agitate her upon typing the website into her laptop.  Nathalie never understands why people enjoy this. She abhors the process of scrolling up and down, just liking things like a broken robot. But, still, her sister’s message is cryptic. Noelle could be an enigma, sure, but the message is….odd. She clicks on the aggressive icon to find that the notification was all from several family members.

 She sips her coffee and clicks the first one. Noelle is smiling in the picture. The other person is familiar; someone from their University. She is sure. She scrolls down to see why she was tagged in this. She quickly scrolled down the comments.

Mabel Acquah:

@Nathalie Aidoo - You see your sister! She is bringing shame to your family. Come get her!

Michael Antwi:

Eh, is that so? Is this why you stopped coming to church? Hmmm

Yaa Monoo:

Ei is this how people are doing now? Instead of monogamy, you go and do polygamy? Hmmm What is this world coming to?

Beatrice Aidoo:

I knew you were not correct. You, this child! Never come back into our home! Never. I knew there was something wrong with you. @ nathalieaidoo- if you know what is good for you, you will not engage with her again. Before whatever disease she has affects you too.

Naa Dede Annan:

YASS GIRL! Do what you want. I hope you are happy with the people you love!

She scrolls back up trying to find the root of all the vitriol and adoration. Above the image, typed in the blue of social media font: Noelle Aidoo is engaged to Julia Mensah.

***

Donovan tends to kick himself into knots when he is asleep. He often finds Nathalie has managed to straighten out her side of the bed despite this. She is an early riser, something he could never be. Today isn’t any different. He stretches and scratches his chest. Before he can get his thoughts together, he hears a mug shattering on the floor. He jumps out of bed to see if his girlfriend is alright. He finds her laughing, almost in hysterics pointing at her phone. A pool of coffee at her feets, she keeps saying, “Well done, Noelle, Well done!”

Noelle, her sister, he thinks. He is curious about what the news is about but opts to sweep up the broken glass.

Blood is thicker than water. That’s what they say.

Donovan accepts this. Whatever the Aidoo sisters have planned, he is eager to hear it. From Nathalie’s laughs, it is bound to be a goodass time.

   Nathalie Aidoo: So, Efe, when’s the wedding?